[Bsa-troop85] Final Camp Tom Hale 2015 Update--see you tomorrow around noon hopefully

Fri Jun 5 11:30:28 CDT 2015

I’m afraid we must start today’s final installment of the Camp Tom Hale Diaries on a somber note.  Joel (the frog, AKA “Bob”) did not survive.  Apparently he asphyxiated while the boys were away eating dinner and things other than frog legs.  I learned later that a memorial service for Joel was held, complete with a rendition of Amazing Grace, followed by a cremation and the placement of a memorial stone (see photo).  Apparently I have a lot of work to do at future chapel services.  Oh, and being the good Asst. Scoutmaster that I am,  I did use this incident as an opportunity for a teaching moment.  I made all the boys repeat aloud the Scout Outdoor Code.  It includes the words “to be considerate of the outdoors and to be conservation minded.”  I’m sure that Joel-Bob (as I think I’ll call him), as an official representative of the outdoors, did not feel he was being treated with ample consideration.  Therefore, to ensure that no further inconsiderate incidents occur (say that fast five times), if any other animals die in our area the older scouts will loose the use of their precious hammocks.  So, outdoor consideration has been enforced in Troop 85!  

Speaking of Joel-Bob the frog (JB for short), it is worth mentioning that his ghost, or at least one of his relatives, did exact revenge on his behalf (with the help of Mr. White, a man who knows well the ways of the outdoors).  Mr. White happened to find another green and slimy representative of the outdoors just as the older boys were going to sleep.  Somehow, that amphibious creature of the night ended up in Garrison’s hammock.  “He didn’t really put it in there, did he?”  “No, no he didn’t.”  (screaming ensues)  “He did, he did!  Get it out, get it out!”  Fortunately, no additional outdoor representatives were injured in the making of this practical joke.  Also fortunately, that same frog happened across Mr. White’s path again just a short time later.  “Max, would you like to have a frog in your hammock too?” Mr. White calmly asked. “No, no, no!” screamed Max.  “I’ll pay you!  I’ll pay you anything.”  And to that, Mr. White, apparently with his joy at exacting revenge completely satiated, said, “Ok, if you give me four Oreos.”  “Ok, ok!  Four Oreos.  I’ll pay you in the morning!”  I personally think Mr. White could have bargained for much more than four Oreos at that moment.  He must not have his son Jonah’s sense for cutthroat business.  Jonah must get it from his mother’s side.

Speaking of Jonah….He and Judah and Colton survived their Wilderness Survival Merit Badge overnight trip (see photo).  They came traipsing back into our campsite at 5:30 am the next day.  “How was it Colton?” I asked.  “It was a very long night.”  And with that he immediately fell asleep in a folding chair.  They survived their trip without any tales of woe.  Apparently the camp has moved the site for those outings to a much more flat location that does not have any dead trees nearby to make things interesting.  “We had a hard time getting much of a fire going,” said Judah. Humm, that could hurt Jonah’s survival bracelet sales.  If the ratio of survival bracelets to wilderness survival scouts was 2 to 1 and they were only able to make one measly fire, that won’t drive up profits.  Fortunately, Jonah has moved on to other business ventures, like dominating in Ga Ga Ball.

What is Ga Ga Ball you ask?  Is it something related to Lady Ga Ga?  I wondered the same myself.  Fortunately the answer is “no.”  Ga Ga Ball was invented in Israel by some creative youths looking for new ways to knock each other down.  Apparently, in Hebrew “Ga Ga” means “dodge” or “jump” or “look out old Scoutmaster because that ball is about to hit you in the face!”   Ga Ga ball is played in an enclosed circle about 20 foot in circumference.  The surrounding wall is about four feet high. A kickball or soccer ball is thrown into the middle and you use your hands to try and bounce it into other kids.  Only strikes below the waist count.  And, you can catch the ball to knock someone else out.  Essentially it’s dodge ball played mostly below the knees.  Did I mention yet that Jonah has won this competition three times?  I’ve played three times and each time I was out within just a few throws.  I do however, happen to be the keeper of the most famous “catch” in Camp Tom Hale Ga Ga Ball history.  I was playing in an intense game and was really determined to grab this one ball that had bounced very high.  I knew everyone would be impressed if I jumped up to grab it.  And grab it I did!  But, I didn’t realize that as I jumped, and flew toward the fence which I expected to brace me when I came down with the ball, that I had made a key tactical mistake.  Unbeknownst to me, at that moment was actually jumping toward the one area of fence that is much lower than the rest of the fence (to enable people to enter and exit the ring).  So, sure enough, as I went up and grabbed the ball, I then flew into a fence that wasn’t there.  The back of my shins My hit the lower wall and I went flying out of the circle, my feet flailing up into the air , and landed completely on my shoulders with my feet sticking up over the shortened fence. “Are you okay?  Give him room?  Is the Scoutmaster okay?” my fellow Ga Ga’ers gasped.  The answer was yes.  I arose triumphantly still holding the ball…only to be knocked out of the game a moment later.  Jonah was no were to be seen (though Reese is a witness).  He was off writing his soon-to-be best seller “Seven Secrets of Successful Ga Ga Ball Champions.”  In it will be an entire chapter devoted to “Avoiding the Mr. Harder Maneuver.”   Jonah is our best player, though our Senior Patrol Leader Davis is right up there too. 

Speaking of Davis.  He might be the reincarnation of Tom Sawyer, or the incarnation of that literary skamp.  I should have known something was up when, on Monday, our first day here, he went running by me with two fishing poles in his hands, a big smile on his face, and said, “I’m going fishing!”  This, of course, was not unexpected because he is enrolled in both Fishing and Fly Fishing merit badges.  What I didn’t realize, until Thursday however, was that he was fishing during time for his Astronomy merit badge.  This came to light as I looked at the troop advancement report on Thursday.  “Hey, Davis, what’s going on with Astronomy?  Why don’t you have anything completed?” I asked.  “Um, I was sleeping?”  To which I thought perhaps he was sleeping in class, but as a wise Asst. Scoutmaster I thought enough to ask the follow up question, “Where?”  “In my hammock.”  Ah.  “You will go to Astronomy today,” I said with authority.  And with that he was off to not fish.  And also to surprise his merit badge counselor.  “Hi, I’m supposed to be here.”  “What?  You are?  No, I don’t think so,” said the Astronomy teacher, who then added.  “Wait, you aren’t Davis are you?”  To which Davis replied with a Cheshire Cat grin.  “Ok, but you have do work hard to catch up, and you will have to come in during all of your free time.”  The instructor also made Davis wear a dunce cap for one period as a punishment (see photo).  No problem.  Davis has now almost completed that merit badge, says “It’s kind of fun.” He also turned it into a morality tale for the other scouts at during our campfire. “…and so now I will no longer claim to be studying the stars in my hammock.  And you shouldn’t either.”  I think he is planning a career in Public Relations.  A master of situation spin indeed.  I wonder if they offer PR Merit Badge.

While we are talking about last night’s troop campfire, I should mention that during the campfire the troop presented Brennen with a bon voyage present.  Brennen’s family recently moved to Ft. Smith so he’ll need to join a troop there.  Max and Mr. Marsh presented Brennen with a scout mug, branded with the brands of both Troop 85 and Hale Scout Reservation (yes, real brands done with hot iron in a fire, because, well, branding stuff is just cool).  The mug glows in the dark so, for as long as the radioactive isotopes radiate, Brennen can always remember the glowing times he had in Troop 85. And, he can camp with us anytime he wants. 

Writing about that campfire makes me think about tonight’s closing campfire.  We’ll go there and remember the things we’ve done this week.  We’ll watch a few skits.  Hudson plans to do some newly created turtle cheers.   Turtles, those fine representatives of the outdoors, are the camp Tom Hale mascot and symbol.  But, each year we have to listen to the same camp leader give the same camp cheer.  “Ok Scouts, you know what sound turtles make—Nerk!  Let’s put our hands by our ears and make the turtle cheer—Nerk, Nerk, Nerk!”  They even have t-shirts stamped with “Nerk!”  So Hudson will go up tonight and give some turtle alternatives.  They include renditions of a turtle at the drag races, a turtle at the rodeo and a turtle in a Picasso painting.  Those are too hard to describe with mere words.  Ask your boys about them.

Speaking of your boys…it’s been great to be with them this year!  They are a great group of kids and it’s fun to watch them grow.  I would encourage any of you to consider coming to ½ or all of camp next year.  All you have to do is sign up to be an official Scout volunteer.  And then you have to read Jonah’s upcoming book on Ga Ga Ball.

Y.I.S. (P.S. below signature)

--David on behalf of Paul and Jeremy  Oh, PS…
To Mr. Ross,
I’m sorry to report, but Ham Bar no longer exists.  Yes, this amazing food product, which defied description and came with such an appetizing name (they need Davis to help with the marketing), was not on the menu this year.  Is it no longer available?  Can it be found anywhere?  Are farmers no longer raise little ham-bars to bring to market?  No one really knows.  It’s gone the way of the Brontosauras.  Do you know about the Brontosauras?  That was the coolest big dinosaur back when I was in school.  But then some scientists said it never really existed.  I was so disappointed that it didn’t.  But, maybe it did after all.  Some scientists now believe the Brontosauras may have walked the earth. Did it, or didn’t it?  Those of us who had experienced the wonders that were the Ham Bar know it was real.  Or was it? 
(thank you Richard for being the inspiration of these attempts to bring out my own inner Dave Barry and write a humorous report). 

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